Stinky Donkey Hugs

I'm not good at being friends with a ton of people.
I prefer depth over...I don't know....activity, I guess? Everyone is so activity-driven.Volleyball, soccer, Red River, karaoke. Blah. It just leaves my soul constantly starved for quality time.
It sounds evil, but I don't want a lot of friends. Yeah that sounds horrible. Like something Hitler probably would have said.
But i don't. I can't keep up. I feel like I'm drowning. Pressure to go to every event or else you miss out and people won't know you or care about you and they'll care about other people more and you'll be forgotten and you won't ever get that depth. It's too much. I want to just quit.
In fact, it's even a struggle for me to be close with people who have a billion friends. How can you have depth with that many people? Is that really depth? I don't know...I don't know how you can feel close to someone like that. Attention is so divided. Affection is so divided. How can you really invest in someone and get to know them so deeply? Better yet, how could you let so many people know you deeply?
I want to be known, but I'm not easy to know. I want to know that people really care before I open up. And how do I know people really care? Spending quality time with me. But people with so many friends don't have that kind of time or energy. So it ends up being frustrating, disappointing and draining for idiots like me.

geez I hate my personality. I'd so love to be normal please.

It's one of those days where I can't keep up. I want to just quit twitter, delete facebook, flush my phone and peace out.
Just move away without saying a word to anyone. I'll go get a little cabin somewhere in interlaken and I'll tell people about Jesus during the day and read books at night.

I just want a few close friends whose idea of a good time is sitting around playing Monopoly together on a Friday night. (pajamas optional). That's all I really want. Friends to laugh and play board games with.
Doesn't that seem simple? In reality, that's one of the most convoluted, difficult requests ever.


Haha....I'm nowhere near as bitter as I probably sound! Hopefully I don't sound that way. But too bad if that's how you read it, cuz it's my blog and I can say whatever I want.
Like "stinky donkey hugs."
I could say that if I wanted to. But I don't. Cuz I'm way more classy than that.