This may be a blog I've written before. Probably because it's a lesson that I have to re-learn at least once every year. I've been meaning to write this for the last couple weeks or so.
I think if I could offer one piece of advice it would be, wear sunscreen. hahaha...I crack myself up! I couldn't resist that. No, my advice is to seek the silence. Seek the silence relentlessly. It's so important, especially in the age we live in.
I say this from my own personal experience. I have a job where it would be easy to sit and watch movies or listen to music or radio while I work all day. That's a huge temptation because it's easy. It's way easier to just tune out, turn off my brain and be entertained. As much as I know I need to just sit in silence, that temptation to just not think is there.
In examining what stirs my heart for Christ and what kills my affection, I've found that not getting enough silence absolutely kills that affection. After going through a period of constantly indulging in the noise, then shutting it down and sitting in silence for the majority of every day, I slowly start to feel more of my personality coming back, which I didn't realize had been deadened by the constant barrage of input into my brain. I can feel my creativity, intuition, and cognitive skills slowly breathe to life and grow stronger and stronger. I never even realize how much of my soul and life has been sucked out of me by the busyness of my ears and eyes.
Now, I know that my own personal temptation is that of occupying my mind with pointless entertainment, but I think it can have the same effect if you're simply around people all day. I'm not sure it really matters what the input is, too much input deadens you, and steals your joy without you even realizing most of the time.
I don't think this is just a personality thing, even if it probably does come more naturally to introverts. I don't think our spirits were meant to just absorb, absorb, absorb. We have to shut it all down and let our souls and brains breathe. Our souls crave that quiet time to be alone with their Maker. It's seriously amazing how God will open up our hearts and really speak so clearly when we just sit and be still. He breathes life into in those moments.
I also think we need that time alone to determine (or remember) who we are, away from all the influences that we judge ourselves by. It's good to get alone and re-focus on His heart, re-focus on who He's made us to be and His purposes for us, so that we can go back out there and live with intent instead of just living life.
That's my two cents. Instead of letting other people and entertainment sculpt your thoughts and be mirrors that shape your self image, let the Holy Spirit talk to you. Let Him show you who you are. Make time to let Him speak.
Just saying. Nothin' ya'll didn't know. Nothing that isn't extremely obvious.
But that's always heavy on my heart, because it's a fight and I have to be consistent and intentional about it. It doesn't always come easy. It's not something I always want to do, but in the end, it's always worth it. It always results in beauty and more life. It's something we can't embrace deeply enough.
ok goodbye.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Friday, March 4, 2011
Top 5 Best Instruments
Top Five Best-Sounding Instruments in exact order:
1. Violin
2. Piano
3. Classical Guitar
4. Hammered Dulcimer
5. Saxophone
1. Violin
2. Piano
3. Classical Guitar
4. Hammered Dulcimer
5. Saxophone
I am the catfish (koo koo ka choo!)
Life with me is two things: always awkward. never boring.
Hahaha, but really I'm fine with it! I'm gifted at unintentionally making people uncomfortable! If you learn to embrace it, then it just makes life interesting!
I don't TRY to make things weird, I really don't. That would be mean. In fact, it seems like the more couth I attempt to be, the more maladroit things become! So I just gotta be me, love God & love people, and embrace the awkwardness that I inevitably produce.
Awkwardness is the spice of life, adding flavor to every moment. Really, you should be jealous that you haven't been endowed with this beautiful, reckless gift!
Now that I think about it, I might be my own catfish, unwittingly and ceaselessly making my own life more unexpectedly interesting than it need be.
(ok more people need to see that movie so that I actually make sense to someone when I say that!)
Till the next awkward adventure, peace out ya'll!
So if I say "I really enjoyed talking with you! Can we hang out more often?"
and she responds with "Yeaaaah, see, the thing is, I'm bad at being friends with guys, sooo...um..."
and she responds with "Yeaaaah, see, the thing is, I'm bad at being friends with guys, sooo...um..."
...that's bad, right? Unless I'm mistaken, I'm pretty sure that's the nice girl way of saying "NEVER. AGAIN."
HAHA!! Oh the power of my unbridled awkwardness strikes again! The brilliant, unyielding potency of my awkwardness has produced another fine filet of unflattering happenstance!
HAHA!! Oh the power of my unbridled awkwardness strikes again! The brilliant, unyielding potency of my awkwardness has produced another fine filet of unflattering happenstance!
Hahaha, but really I'm fine with it! I'm gifted at unintentionally making people uncomfortable! If you learn to embrace it, then it just makes life interesting!
I don't TRY to make things weird, I really don't. That would be mean. In fact, it seems like the more couth I attempt to be, the more maladroit things become! So I just gotta be me, love God & love people, and embrace the awkwardness that I inevitably produce.
Awkwardness is the spice of life, adding flavor to every moment. Really, you should be jealous that you haven't been endowed with this beautiful, reckless gift!
(ok more people need to see that movie so that I actually make sense to someone when I say that!)
Till the next awkward adventure, peace out ya'll!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Big people small God
I feel like today could be another bloggy day, so brace yourself. Hopefully I'm wrong. Although, generally, when I'm blogging a lot, I'm also doing really well spiritually. Not exactly sure how those two are connected, but that seems to be the pattern.
In reading what I loving call "when big people small big god" (or any semblance of those words because it's too hard to think of the actual title) I have questions. To be fair, I haven't finished the book, but still, it's ok to have questions, right?
Does fear of man account for personality? Like, God gave us our particular personalities, correct? Some people are introverts and dreadfully shy, does that mean they suffer horribly from the fear of man or is that just part of their God-given personality? I'm an introvert, and though not terribly shy, I can be shy on occasion I guess, but is that sinful?
I just wonder where that line is, because the questions in the book are like "Do you get embarrassed around people? Do you care what people think of you?"
And I'm like, "Ok crap. Sometimes I'm kinda quiet. That means I must be shy, so that means I must be embarrassed!! oh NO!!! Something is wrong in my heart!!!!"
And honestly, I feel like I really don't care what people think, but then again, what if it's an attractive, Godly lady? That is when I run the risk of being shy. And it might not even be as much shyness as it is just being incapacitated by their beauty. It's like my brain melts. Is that sinful? Is that fear of man? It's a physiological reaction to intense physical beauty! "You're beautiful? You Love Jesus? Oh and you have a great personality and you're hilarious too?" excuse me while I completely lose the ability to speak!
Is that still a heart issue? And if that is a physiological reaction, didn't God design me that way? #confused
It seems like that'd be like saying that you have a heart issue because you get hot when you're near the sun!
But would it be wrong to care what a lady thinks?? Is it wrong to want to impress a woman?? The book isn't specific about that situation. It just makes it sounds like if you've ever cared what any person ever thinks about you, then you're wrong. And maybe I am! and if that is wrong, how do you change that?? aren't we supposed to want to pursue a woman and want to impress her and all that good stuff?
Not that you should change who you are, certainly not. You should be yourself. But at the same time, I'm not going to dress like a hobo like I might when I'm at home. Is it sinful to put your best foot forward? and what about makeup for the ladies? Isn't wearing makeup a sign of the fear of man? (almost literally! ha!)
I have a feeling that I'm putting my ignorance on blast right now. But it raises those kind of questions for me.
But I sure do love that book. It stirs my affections. Especially chapter 6, which just so happens to be the chapter we're covering in homegroup next week! excited!
peace out. gotta get some work done.
In reading what I loving call "when big people small big god" (or any semblance of those words because it's too hard to think of the actual title) I have questions. To be fair, I haven't finished the book, but still, it's ok to have questions, right?
Does fear of man account for personality? Like, God gave us our particular personalities, correct? Some people are introverts and dreadfully shy, does that mean they suffer horribly from the fear of man or is that just part of their God-given personality? I'm an introvert, and though not terribly shy, I can be shy on occasion I guess, but is that sinful?
I just wonder where that line is, because the questions in the book are like "Do you get embarrassed around people? Do you care what people think of you?"
And I'm like, "Ok crap. Sometimes I'm kinda quiet. That means I must be shy, so that means I must be embarrassed!! oh NO!!! Something is wrong in my heart!!!!"
And honestly, I feel like I really don't care what people think, but then again, what if it's an attractive, Godly lady? That is when I run the risk of being shy. And it might not even be as much shyness as it is just being incapacitated by their beauty. It's like my brain melts. Is that sinful? Is that fear of man? It's a physiological reaction to intense physical beauty! "You're beautiful? You Love Jesus? Oh and you have a great personality and you're hilarious too?" excuse me while I completely lose the ability to speak!
Is that still a heart issue? And if that is a physiological reaction, didn't God design me that way? #confused
It seems like that'd be like saying that you have a heart issue because you get hot when you're near the sun!
But would it be wrong to care what a lady thinks?? Is it wrong to want to impress a woman?? The book isn't specific about that situation. It just makes it sounds like if you've ever cared what any person ever thinks about you, then you're wrong. And maybe I am! and if that is wrong, how do you change that?? aren't we supposed to want to pursue a woman and want to impress her and all that good stuff?
Not that you should change who you are, certainly not. You should be yourself. But at the same time, I'm not going to dress like a hobo like I might when I'm at home. Is it sinful to put your best foot forward? and what about makeup for the ladies? Isn't wearing makeup a sign of the fear of man? (almost literally! ha!)
I have a feeling that I'm putting my ignorance on blast right now. But it raises those kind of questions for me.
But I sure do love that book. It stirs my affections. Especially chapter 6, which just so happens to be the chapter we're covering in homegroup next week! excited!
peace out. gotta get some work done.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
The Hot People
The bad thing about being really hot is that you don't know who to trust. (I mean, I assume. Obviously, that's not exactly my area of experience.) Unless you don't know you're hot. Then you trust everyone, and that's scary!
I always admired it when ladies who are gorgeous didn't realize they're gorgeous.
But these days I think that's maybe not as cool and humble as it initially seems, and actually a bit dangerous.
Because when you're really beautiful, you're a magnet for all kinds of creepiness and sketchiness. And if you don't realize that people are drawn to you for your looks, you probably end up trusting the wrong people at points. That can't end well, right? ew. That gives me chills.
On the other hand, I bet that when you're gorgeous you're probably also really perspective and discerning because you've always had to read peoples' underlying intentions your whole life. So I think it really can make you a stronger person!
People that are hot and know they're hot get a bad rap because people assume that they're arrogant, cocky and have an easier life. Maybe that's true sometimes, but I bet those people might actually have it harder.
If I were hot, I bet it'd be a struggle to be myself, because 1.) I wouldn't know who to trust and what people's real intentions were. What are they really after? Would they be as nice to me if I looked like a monkey? even beyond the opposite gender. I think it would add a level of stress to friendships in general. and 2.) people would just automatically be more inclined to like me without ever knowing the real me. I wouldn't have to be me because everyone would always be accepting and welcoming. You could hide inside that pretty persona so easily. The opposite gender probably wouldn't expect as much from you. So how do you be you? Do you have people pressing on you to be who you are when you're hot?
And what if people think they like you for you, but what if they don't actually know the real you? what if it's really just your beauty that's drawing them in, and they don't even realize that? So if they don't know that their intentions aren't entirely pure, how could you know that? That would be hard.
Geez, for all the beauty God's painted into this world, so much darkness still remains in our hearts. Ick. Jesus needs to come back and back it all right. So I'm sorry, pretty people, for giving you such a bad rap in my own mind all these years.
I'm just glad I'm not hot.
...but i DO smell good. *gasp* I wonder if people are only friends with me because they love my sweet, manly aroma??
...eh. i'm ok with that.
I always admired it when ladies who are gorgeous didn't realize they're gorgeous.
But these days I think that's maybe not as cool and humble as it initially seems, and actually a bit dangerous.
Because when you're really beautiful, you're a magnet for all kinds of creepiness and sketchiness. And if you don't realize that people are drawn to you for your looks, you probably end up trusting the wrong people at points. That can't end well, right? ew. That gives me chills.
On the other hand, I bet that when you're gorgeous you're probably also really perspective and discerning because you've always had to read peoples' underlying intentions your whole life. So I think it really can make you a stronger person!
People that are hot and know they're hot get a bad rap because people assume that they're arrogant, cocky and have an easier life. Maybe that's true sometimes, but I bet those people might actually have it harder.
If I were hot, I bet it'd be a struggle to be myself, because 1.) I wouldn't know who to trust and what people's real intentions were. What are they really after? Would they be as nice to me if I looked like a monkey? even beyond the opposite gender. I think it would add a level of stress to friendships in general. and 2.) people would just automatically be more inclined to like me without ever knowing the real me. I wouldn't have to be me because everyone would always be accepting and welcoming. You could hide inside that pretty persona so easily. The opposite gender probably wouldn't expect as much from you. So how do you be you? Do you have people pressing on you to be who you are when you're hot?
And what if people think they like you for you, but what if they don't actually know the real you? what if it's really just your beauty that's drawing them in, and they don't even realize that? So if they don't know that their intentions aren't entirely pure, how could you know that? That would be hard.
Geez, for all the beauty God's painted into this world, so much darkness still remains in our hearts. Ick. Jesus needs to come back and back it all right. So I'm sorry, pretty people, for giving you such a bad rap in my own mind all these years.
I'm just glad I'm not hot.
...but i DO smell good. *gasp* I wonder if people are only friends with me because they love my sweet, manly aroma??
...eh. i'm ok with that.
The Little Things
It seems like it's always the simplest things that strike my heart the deepest.
This morning my heart is humming with gratitude for His friendship, for being called His son. I am so thankful for His enduring grace, but this morning I'm really thankful that He didn't just give us grace and mercy and walk away. That alone is a gift we could never deserve, but He didn't even stop there, He gave us Himself, He gave us friendship with God.
It would enough that He saved us, but He cares about the stuff that even I find myself feeling dumb for caring about.
I LOVE that!
I love the times when you can see the active hand of God in the little details of things that you didn't realize you cared about. Or sometimes I'll feel like I've prayed about something from every possible angle, so that there is nothing I haven't prayed about or asked for in a given situation, and then He'll go and do something small and delightful that I could never have even conceived of! It blows my heart into a million pieces to see the creativity and tenderness that goes into gifting us those moments! (I wonder if does that stuff because He knows I'm a feeler and that it stirs my heart like crazy? Also, I wonder if most people notice those little things or if they would attribute them to God wooing them?)
I think I always tend to feel a certain amount of guilt (or maybe that's not the right word) when I find myself concerned with my life here on earth. I often feel like I'm not supposed to care. I should be focused on eternity, focused on the big picture, I shouldn't worry about my comfort or my desires so much because that's not my purpose here. I need to focus on things of eternal significance. I feel that weight so much that a lot of times I feel guilty and unfocused when I'm concerned about temporal things here.
(And that's probably good to an extent though, because my heart is like cookie monster sometimes, it's a crazy person and just wants what it wants, regardless of logic. So I thank God for a bit of gravity in my thinking!)
But days like today, it's overwhelming to see Him play an active role in the little things in my life that show me that He loves me so deeply that even my little quirks, preferences, and silly desires matter to Him. Often I feel like they shouldn't even matter to me, but He takes the time to show me that they matter to Him! I find so much freedom in the experience of a love that deep! He never ceases to amaze me and blow my mind.
yeah. that's all. have a swell day! drink some Pepsi!
This morning my heart is humming with gratitude for His friendship, for being called His son. I am so thankful for His enduring grace, but this morning I'm really thankful that He didn't just give us grace and mercy and walk away. That alone is a gift we could never deserve, but He didn't even stop there, He gave us Himself, He gave us friendship with God.
It would enough that He saved us, but He cares about the stuff that even I find myself feeling dumb for caring about.
I LOVE that!
I love the times when you can see the active hand of God in the little details of things that you didn't realize you cared about. Or sometimes I'll feel like I've prayed about something from every possible angle, so that there is nothing I haven't prayed about or asked for in a given situation, and then He'll go and do something small and delightful that I could never have even conceived of! It blows my heart into a million pieces to see the creativity and tenderness that goes into gifting us those moments! (I wonder if does that stuff because He knows I'm a feeler and that it stirs my heart like crazy? Also, I wonder if most people notice those little things or if they would attribute them to God wooing them?)
I think I always tend to feel a certain amount of guilt (or maybe that's not the right word) when I find myself concerned with my life here on earth. I often feel like I'm not supposed to care. I should be focused on eternity, focused on the big picture, I shouldn't worry about my comfort or my desires so much because that's not my purpose here. I need to focus on things of eternal significance. I feel that weight so much that a lot of times I feel guilty and unfocused when I'm concerned about temporal things here.
(And that's probably good to an extent though, because my heart is like cookie monster sometimes, it's a crazy person and just wants what it wants, regardless of logic. So I thank God for a bit of gravity in my thinking!)
But days like today, it's overwhelming to see Him play an active role in the little things in my life that show me that He loves me so deeply that even my little quirks, preferences, and silly desires matter to Him. Often I feel like they shouldn't even matter to me, but He takes the time to show me that they matter to Him! I find so much freedom in the experience of a love that deep! He never ceases to amaze me and blow my mind.
yeah. that's all. have a swell day! drink some Pepsi!
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