I feel like I enjoyed yesterday more than I should have.
I don't think a normal person would be so over-the-moon like I was. I had SUCH a good time at lunch!! It shouldn't even even be a big deal, nothing to get too excited about. But for me, it was life-giving just to be with other Believers who I know love Jesus and I know love other people. It's breathes life into me to be around other people that want to love and serve Jesus. Or actually, maybe I loved being around them because it is like being around Jesus when you have people who are so focused on Him and their love for Him is reflected outwardly. It's like soaking up His love. aaaaand that's probably cheesy.
 I was bummed that we didn't get to really talk. Yeah I was energized just by getting to spend simple time. But it made me want more. So much more. Like It'd be like eating just a couple of the chips out of the basket at El Fenix and then the server just takes it away. I couldn't handle just eating a couple.
 I feel dumb because I know I shouldn't be that excited or have enjoyed it that much. But i did. and I'm sorry. But I did. I know it wasn't as enjoyable for them because they get that all the time. And more than that, they get depth. All the time. I can't imagine. Aggieland is Heaven, eh?
     I didn't feel that same sense of deep regret and yearning that I usually feel down there. I didn't yearn so deeply that that was my life. Yeah, I still wish I'd gone there, I wish I could go there. But it didn't yank on my heart like it used to. I think that's something God has/is worked on me on...just knowing that my life is mine. (well, it's not really mine, per se...) Just because my life does not compare favorably to other people's...that's ok. This is the path that He has taken me. It doesn't matter if it's embarrassing or disappointing. This is where He has ME. This is where He's taken ME. so it doesn't matter what everyone else is doing or where their lives are. This is where He has ME. It doesn't matter if it's what I wanted or not.

booya. out.