I had a frustratingly cool dream last night. The kind that makes it hard to want to ever wake up. I keep having these stupid, awesome dreams too. argh!! She was cold, yet completely wonderful. mmm!

It can get a little discouraging at some point when you've written a lot of people and no one writes back. I've written about 5 people who just never responded. I was thinking about this over the weekend. A couple years ago it would have really bothered me that they ignored me and there would have definitely been an element of hurt. But now, it doesn't really bother me! I don't really care until it's several people all not responding, and even then it's still only a little discouraging and nothing more. I just feel bad for creeping people out or whatever the problem is. But oh well! I just like to talk to people! I'm sure my friendliness is misinterpreted as something else, but too bad.

My homegroup has been reading When People are Big and God is Small this semester and it's been an incredible experience. It really rips apart my fear of man issues. I think my issue is most visible when it comes to wanting to impress a woman. I honestly don't care what people think of me except for when it comes to a potential lover. (At least, i really don't think i care, but digging through it all is part of the process). But the fact that I care what a woman thinks has helped me realized how highly misguided my motivation can be. I don't feel like that's always my motivation, but that fact that the only person whose opinion I care about would be a potential ladyfriend, shows me how my priorities are a little off-kilter. At the same time though, I think it's good to want to impress a woman and catch her attention. Kinda. ok, so I should probably finish reading the book, huh? Yeah I'm still processing through everything, but I can definitely feel the effect it's had on me.
From an encouraging perspective, it's helped me to realize how free I am from having to give a hoot about living to win anyone's opinion. It has helped me to really love how God has made me. I think my personality has made it easier for me not to live for people's approval. Or perhaps I'm still blind to where I struggle with that.

Sorry, I'll probably end up blogging this more cohesively at some point after I've processed more thoroughly. 


I ate more horribly this weekend than I have in the last millennium. No lie, I'm 7 pounds overweight right now. oh my mercy.

Eli has a really sweet Hurley case for his phone. I had no idea they made those! i love Hurley.

and I love youuuuuuu!