The Leftovers

 Here are remnants from the thoughts strolling through my mind today.

I ran across my favorite (hmm...well it's in my top 5 at least) Relient K lyric again yesterday. I hadn't heard it in long time. It's so funny too, because they jam this poignant line in at the end of a lighthearted song. I love those guys!
"I don't want to be perceived the way I am, I just want to be perceived the way I am"
     That connects with me on several levels. It's such an accurate description of who I am now, particularity after NHBC.
I don't want people to think they know me or assume anything about me. I want them to actually know me.
If someone knows me for who really am, then I could care less if they like me or not. Just as long as their opinion is based on who I really am, and not just their perception. Percieve me for who I am, not for who you think I am by what you see. Cuz that way, I'm totally fine with you not liking me. I'm still just gonna be me. I just want to be understood....which is the title of another Relient K song on the same album as the aforementioned. ooh let me look up those lyrics!
"You're the only one who understands completely. You're the only one knows me yet still loves completely"
There's a great line from "I Am Understood?" That's also the song with the killer chorus: You looked into my life and never stopped..."  Oh mercy! yes! Love it.


 Another rumination from today: I wonder if my personality has been more shaped by who I don't want to be rather than by who I do want to be? Or maybe that's the same thing. One of the strongest qualities of my personality type is that of the observer. We notice things, we take things in, we analyze, we read between the lines. We're sponges. We kinda absorb things about people. I wonder if the drawback to that attribute is that I notice the qualities, eccentricities, or actions of other people and subconsciously think, "Ooh, i don't want to be like that!" Not to say that I'm judging them, it just sparks something in my mind that tells me not to be like that in my life.
               Conversely, I do look notice qualities in other people that I admire and want to emulate in my own life!
   But beyond just being an observer by nature, I also learn best by example, so it's natural for me to learn from watching people and seeing how certain qualities manifest in their life. It's easier to apply to myself that way. I love looking at Jesus and see how He loved and how He served, etc. I love looking at Chandler and Patterson and seeing how they love their wives. At the same time it's almost just as helpful to me to look at someone who doesn't love their wife as well I'd hope to and learn from the ways that they're failing.
  Does that make sense?
hahah..yeah! It does. To meeeeeee! hahaha!!  and too bad if it doesn't, because I don't feel like trying to explain further. It's exhausting being in my head all day. You should try it.

 A thought today that brought me SO much peace and satisfaction: I am not my own. My life isn't mine.
I love that. Simple, but overwhelming. That simple reminder flooded me with peace today.


So there are some crumbs leftover from today's thoughts. From my heart to your eyeballs.
I think it's safe to say that you can be expecting a blog about the joy of baseball in the near future. Although, I probably say that every year and it never manifests anywhere other than my own brain. So we'll see.


TTFN! Ta Ta For Now!