i didn't re-read or spell check this. forgive me.

Sometimes I get jealous of people who know a lot of theology and can have deep discussions of a theological nature.
Though I gotta say I'm less and less apt to fall for the lie that that's how we're all supposed to be.

I'm not saying it's not good to know a lot, because it is! I just think he's gifted different people with the skill to desire knowledge and to learn, retain and articulate well.

I'm impressed by those guys. But I realize that I don't have to BE them. My goal isn't

It's probably good that God didn't bless me with that gift because I KNOW that I'd have pride. Consciously or subconsciously, I would be proud of my knowledge. And that's dangerous because you can use knowledge as a weapon (or even as a defense) to beat people down and I certainly don't need that kinda temptation.

I probably need to understand theology better, and I have been working at that, but it doesn't come as easily for me. And I'm okay with that because God has blessed in other areas, and allowed me to know Him and experience Him in different ways. I think some people experience God intellectually and some people it's through circumstances or something else.
So i would say that we have a certain level of knowledge of God too, but it's not intellectual-type knowledge.

Like, I'll probably never be able to sit and have a conversation about dispensationalism, but I could excitedly talk for hours about what I've learned about God from my own walk with Him, the things He's taught me and revealed to me. I could talk about how I've experienced God, the things He's in me, through me, and around me. And I'm not sure how to explain it (cuz i'm 99% stupid) but my own walk with Christ feels like it's unique and different and so vibrant.

So maybe the way He speaks to my heart is through my life and things He allows me to feel, experience, and go through. I'm definitely a hard learner. And I don't think I'd be able to see God any other way than through experience.

And for the intellectuals, I think God speaks to their hearts through theology and knowledge.

I guess like we see God from a different angle. Not to say that the non-intellectuals and intellectuals can never see God from each other's angle, but I think we're inherently gifted to see God from a certain angle. It's the same God, same Truth, just different perspectives. And there obviously needs to be some cross-over. We both need to see from each other's angle. I just think we're gifted to naturally see and hear from Him in a certain way.

So I admire the theology buffs like Matt or a thousand other people I know, but I know that's not me.

Does that make ANY sense??