It's midnight in LA.

I supposed I should be sleeping. But really sleep isn't that great.

um. I'm ready to go home and write.

talking to Sara online.

I really really really can't wait to get home and work out. I want to kill my abs like they's never been killed before. I want to spend so much more time in the gym! I can't wait it kick my body's butt!

I cried watching the polar bear swim around. One of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. no lie. I was overwhelmed by God's kindness to us. We don't deserve that. why should disgusting thing like people get to share in the glory of God like that? awe inspiring. seriously.
The creativity that goes into all the different species, the intricate details, it's like art. Watching the baby leopard play is like standing in front of a really beautiful piece of art. and the stupid animals make me cry, because through them I feel God's love.

i'm crier now. cryer? have been for the last year or so. not sure what changed me, except God. i cry at everything now and it's wonderful! I love that depth of emotion, that depth of feeling. I love being to overwhelmed by His goodness that that's the only way I can express myself. I used to go years between tears. Haha....now I'm lucky if it's days! I'm not talking like bawling (although there's this one song that always reduces me to that), it's more like my eyes well up and one or two little tears spill over.

I'm a nosy person. I wish I was nosy because I care about people so much and want to know how to pray for them. But really I'm just nosy because I'm nosy.

I like sarcasm. Too much, I think. It's too much of a defense mechinism. It can make you sound arrogant. and it's too easy. It doesn't make you think of a good retort. But mostly I don't like it because most of the time I don't feel the love of Christ in it. I think there's probably a way to be loving and sarcastic, but I'm not talented with that combination. So I need less sarcasm and more love. Less negative, more positive. ya dig?

I want a motorcycle. i just do.

I feel the weight of "owning" things. we don't own things. none of this is ours and none of this is permanent. I feel convicted. I don't want stuff.

I just used dictionary.com to figure out how to spell "Permanent". It's sad that I couldn't spell that. geez. I love English and I value words. It's important to me to spell things correctly, though I'm sure my grammar is atrocious.

Nothing makes me as frustrated as when people aren't just honest with me. I'm not retarded, I can tell you aren't been completely truthful and it just makes it worse to try and pass it off as the truth.
I don't know which is more frustrating, when someone tells you something that you know is mostly likely not true at all, or when there are things simply left unsaid for sake of not hurting someone's feelings. Like, it's fine if you want to treat me bad or ignore me or whatever, but just be honest and tell me what's up! Some times people need to have their feelings hurt. Some times people won't have their feelings hurt by what you think will hurt them. We spend so much time trying to protect others based on what WE think is best for them. All I know is that I wish everyone was honest and would TELL you when they have a problem with you. The worst thing is to be left wondering what you did wrong. How do you ever grow is people dont bring their complaints directly to you? Be honest, hurt some feelings! It's ok!

It's weird when you have someone in the middle of your mind. We really should have a term for that. It's like you aren't consciously thinking about them, and they aren't in the back of your mind. They aren't just that tiny lingering afterthought. They're a little closer to the front. Like, if you stopped whatever you were doing and just paused, they'd move to the front of your mind and you'd find yourself consciously thinking about them. I'm sure you know what I mean, so why is there no term for having someone in the middle of your mind?

It sucks to hurt when you don't really know why. Especially when you're a dude.

If I didn't need to have a job ever again or I knew what my job would be forever and ever, I would strongly consider getting full sleeves. or at least one. hmm.

I have very, very strong protector instincts. I want to protect the people I love in every possible way. I'm sure that would get annoying if I acted on my every urge to protect. I'm going to be a freakin' mess if I ever have girls. oh man. shoot me.

I've historically been a very jealous person. You ALL know that. But I've seen God make INCREDIBLE changes in that area! I'm very grateful.

My daily goals lately have been that I want to live a thankful life and a humble life. I want to accept the wreck that I am, so that I may see the brillience and beauty of His grace and love, and fall completely on that and in turn, live a life of gratitude for all I've been given. Because I deserve NOTHING. I feel like i can never grasp that deeply enough.

Best thing about the west coast: the weather or In-n-out?

It's 1am in LA.