I'm tired of having so many things unresolved with people.

I'm tired of being confused.

I'm tired of holding on too tightly.

Could this be Heaven?

hello.


Jack in the Box now makes Taco Nachos.

I have no idea what that is, but I thought you should know.

My heart races at the thought of what that flavor explosion must taste like.


goodbye.

. I'm defeated.

Let's just drive until it gets us somewhere

Lest I forgot, here are things I want to do this summer.

- Go down to Sea World in San Antonio. I don't care about the rides. They have rides now, right? I just wanna see of that sweet whale action! That could be a day trip...a LONG day trip. So probably a two-day trip.




- Float down the Guadalupe River. Or the Frio. or any river, really. I've been trying to do this for several years now. I'm really ready to make that happen again. That's a day trip for real. That's about the most fun thing you can do in Texas.

- Spend a day or two at Schlitterbauhn. ahhhhhhh!

- I want to go to San Angelo. Just go there. and look at it. Just because I've never been there. That's the only part of the state I've never really been to, so I'd like to drive out there, do something amazing, spend the night at Motel 6 (or something as equally shady), eat a delicious breakfast and drive home.

- I'd like to visit a couple Texas ghost towns because i love history and that kinda stuff creeps me out. Maybe take my metal detector and dig till I something mildly interesting and/or old.

- Take a day-trip up to OKC to see the Red Hawks play and have dinner on the river.

- I want to take everyone down to the ranch. But I also want to shoot myself just thinking about trying to plan that.

- Drive out to the Hill country and go zip-lining












- I want to get in the car and see how far I could get on a tank of gas. Just drive until it's empty. I'd take a 5-gallon gas reserve with me and fill up once it dies.


I really would like to spend some time in small towns. Spend time doing nothing. Just traveling with no agenda or time constraints. Drive to cities I've never been to. Make unique discoveries. Have adventures and stories to tell. Just absorb that rough, beautiful landscape.
Those are my favorite vacations. I like the feeling of seeing things most people will never see, no matter how mundane. That's a cool feeling.
I also like the feeling of being in the middle of nowhere, with no one for miles. I remember that haunting feeling driving from Alpine to Laredo. It's creepy and magnificent! I want to eat at cafes that make me feel like i've stepped in a time machine. I want to visit towns that were once vibrant and full of life, that are now as lonely as being on the moon.

I want to stand under that giant Texas sky that overwhelms me and just feel small.

I've got some time off, even after my big vacation. So I'd really love to take some time and do a little sight-seeing. How many people actually explore the place they live? We usually travel to explore places we've never been. Why go to London when we haven't even seen Texas?? What about discovering the unseen beauty of the places we live? Trust me, that's way more exciting than you'd imagine! and waaaaaaaay cheaper!! haha!! i'm poor.

That's kinda what i'd like to go this summer.

OH! and I want to go see King Tut or the Ancient Egypt exhibit they have down at Fair Park. Totally gonna go to that when Sara gets home. And you, my friend, are more than welcome to join us!

Write this down, kiddos

A lot.

Two words.

There's no such thing as "alot"

That's not a word.
In the olden days of yonder, the King would have chopped off your head for butchering his English like that.

So in conclusion,

A lot = two words



You're welcome.

ouch.

The opposite of love, isn't hate.

It's indifference.

Simplifying

um, yeah, i'm gonna go ahead and need you to buy everything i'm selling.


http://shop.ebay.com/merchant/jordanrhoover_W0QQ_dmdZ1QQ_ipgZ50QQ_sopZ10?_rdc=1

I've 403 dvds listed. well actually, 402 dvds and Flights of the Conchords concert ticket, so you're planning on being in LA in late May, then make sure buy that. shoot, even if you aren't going to be in LA, wouldn't that just be a fun thing to own? yes.

So in conclusion, buy all my crap and i'll be your friend. please. i don't want this stuff in my life. please make it go away.

Compelled

Yes. another post within an hour of the last. Cuz I've just been sitting here thinking.

(I wish this typing mechanism would auto-correct "i" into "I" like my phone does. I've grow quite fond of that!)

I have a quandary. I know people experience God differently. I know that we express joy differently.
My question is...If God gives allows us to really know Him, it overwhelms us and explodes our hearts with joy, but does that mean we should all express that joy outwardly the same way?
oooh...um...let me see if i can make that make sense.
I'm thinking of someone I know that's always talking about God, even every status post on facebook is about God. She's very perky and smiley and God-focused. And i thought, do I know God like she knows God? I honestly believe that I do, but if i do, wouldn't my love and joy be uncontainable like that? Is it possible to know God that deeply and not be that perky and always have His name on your lips? If it is possible, is it right?
I wonder because I honestly feel like I am walking deeply with Christ right now, and that I'm experiencing His joy daily! But if you hung out with me, that probably wouldn't be all I'd talk about. I might not even mention it! well, ok I probably would, but not constantly. You probably could tell that I have joy in my life, but I might not express it verbally. And I very rarely post anything about Christ or my love for Him in my status updates.
And the time in my life that I saw God MOST clearly, I was incorrigible and vocal and smilely, just like my facebook friend! So...when God gives you a glimpse of His breathtaking, life-altering beauty, should we all have that same reaction and always have His name on your lips? Can you see Him clearly and not vocalize it and be super persistant about it?
I'm older now than I was back then when I caught that glimpse of His glory. I keep at lot of my joy to myself and release in my doses. I walk so deeply with Christ, but I don't go around talking about Him constantly. Is that a paradox? Or is that just my personality? I know that I don't want to be cheesy and cliche and be all "Jordan is Jesus is my best friend!!" (Is that cynical? I know I struggle with cynicism, and God's melting that off of me too.) I don't want to sound all bumper-stickery, so I kinda don't talk about my relationship with Him unless it's relevant or I can have a real conversation about Him. i don't want to be like "Relationship Status: I'm in a relationship....with God!" Is it wrong for that to gag me and make me want to be nothing like that?
So is it wrong to not be overly expressive because you don't want to be cheestastic and trivialize it?
And what about this....I think I don't vocalize all the things I really want to about Him sometimes because I don't want to appear fake or proud. If people who knew me a year ago were to suddenly hang out with me and all I want to talk about is Christ and my walk with Him and what I'm learning, they're going to think that I'm just posturing to make myself look better and different. And so much of me refuses to be seen like that because I don't want to be seen like the people that praise God so loudly with their mouth and are either a.) annoying about it or b.) not really that passionate in their hearts. I don't want to be fake. I've SEEN fake, and it pushes me AWAY from Christ. It pushes me away from wanting to be Christ-like if that's what it looks like. A lot of the modern church talks big on Jesus, but I'm not sure I want to emulate a lot of what the modern church is.
So in the back of my mind, i think it's sometimes more effective to not express all the things i want to say so that I won't be seen as hypocritical. I don't want to be seen as an example of another person who is fake and hypocritcal like a lot the church nowadays. If you hear me talking about Jesus now, but saw the angry, self-centered person I was before and equate the two, it could push you away. You could think I'm fake like everyone else, that i haven't changed and am just trying to talk about God a lot in order to impress you.
And that's NOT me. i DON'T want to use God like that.
So I kinda go to the other side, and don't bring up Spiritual topics unnecessarily.
But at the same time, all i really do want to talk about is what Jesus is doing in and around me! But i don't want to be annoying about it. I don't want to shove it on anyone like we've had done to us throughout our lives by good-intentioned but annoying people. Should I care about that? I honestly just do not care what anything thinks of me anymore. I'm more concerned about being a stumbling block for someone else to know Him.
Do I want others to think that becoming a Christian means that all you can talk about is Jesus? He's all I WANT to talk about, but...
and look, i KNOW i don't have to SELL Jesus to anyone. that's not my job. I don't gotta sell ya on Jesus. But I also don't want to get in the way of you knowing Him. i know people from my past, that if they heard me talk passionately about Jesus, it would make them bitter! i know that's true, because it's TRUE! ugh.
And my personality is a little more laid-back and i want to show Christ to you. But is that just a cop-out? If my passion is true, should i be able to keep myself from proclaiming Him? Shouldn't true conversion and seeing Him clearly make our joy uncontainable? Or do we all really express it differently? Is it ok to keep that joy inside, and let it seep out slowly?

that's a LONG post....and i'm pretty sure it didn't make sense. so that sucks. um. ...sorry?

Modest Communication

I had the coolest conversation over texts last night.
It was random, but unusually honest.
It was the greatest blessing and quite amusing how God seems to hook those kinda things up.

Seems like we're both very much in the same place spiritually, though the external circumstances are quite different. And I know she processes things much in the same way that I do.
It's hard to explain WHY or HOW that's encouraging but it's honestly the biggest blessing in the world to talk to someone else who actually understands where you're at. I know my gibberish doesn't make sense to many of ya'll, but she seemed to really get it. That really overwhelmed me with His love for me. He knew that I needed encouragement and provided it in the most unusual way. oh my goodness, ya'll, I can't even begin to describe the insanity of His beauty! Always leaves me in awe.

I feel like I'm at the edge of a precipice, like He's working on something big. Or maybe that's just what it feels like to feel Him working on you on a day-to-day basis. It feels big. It feels different. I know He's changed me, but I can feel Him peeling back another layer every day. Sometimes it's so much that I can't process it all. Sometimes I'll see elements of who I used to be and it disgusts me and discourages me to think I'd ever resemble that person again. But I think maybe He's letting me fail occasionally so that He can chip away at that flaw. He's opened my eyes to who I really am and revealing things about myself that i didn't know existed!

But I feel like He's pulling me. It's so weird....it's like I can feel my heart changing very, very slowly each day. It's like I can feel my sanctification. It's so odd.

And don't hear me wrong, I'm not saying that I'm walking on sunshine 24/7 or that I'm that annoying I've-got-the-joy-joy-joy-joy-down-in-my-heart chipper annoying guy now. I reckon i'm just saying that there's this stream of joy that's constantly trickling underneath everything. There's this bit of excitement in knowing that God IS working. He's allowed me to see glimpses of His work, not that I know His plan, but I know He's working, even if it's NOT what I want, I know that He's doing things, putting things together. I can feel Him moving in me and around me. There's the fear that there'll be pain involved, but the joy in knowing that it would be necessary and good.

Does that make sense at all? yeah, probably not. so i'm just saying.

here's a picture of where I'm going this summer, God willing.