Axed!

Why does the scent of all Axe products smell like puberty?

No joke. It smells like a 13-year old boy who is trying to mask the fact that he didn't shower in PE with cheap cologne. It smells like sweat and hormones.

Seriously, I feel like a pervert just smelling their products.

This is the scent that's supposed to attract women like a magnet? Yeah, I guess if you're trying to attract a junior high girl with a wonky olfactory system, then maybe the commercials hold a shred of truth.

I heard a rumor that Axe is made out of puppy tears, caterpillar pee and cigarette ashes.
True fact! maybe.

This guy loves Axe because its the only form of terrorism that's legal in America.
....and it makes him feel pretty.


"Akright, I used a whole can, where are my chicks?"


"Ok, this is the wrong Axe effect! Crap. (Literally)"

"Where is that awful smell coming from"
Dirk uses Axe as a distraction technique.

"Chicken or Egg: Am I cool because I use Axe or do I use Axe because I'm cool?"


This is what happens when you subject your girl to years of the Axe "fragrance".
She's lucky her head didn't outright explode.


" I don't shower. I just bathe in Axe. Works too, look at all these ladies surrounding me!"


This poor kid just found out the hard way that there's no such thing as the Axe effect.

We All Have Our Baggage

There was a very beautiful woman named Gina on Airline that was a customer service rep at Baltimore-Washington International. I remember on one of the final episodes, she became a flight attendant. I just wonder whatever happened to her. They stopped filming the show 4 years ago.
I wonder if she's still a flight attendant.

I absolutely loved that show. I still watch the re-runs every day even though I've seen every episode several times. I love shows about travel and I love shows about real people & real, normal life. And Airline was the perfect combination. A wonderful study in human behavior and people react to different situations.
It's like sitting in an airport and just watching people. The angry people, the drunk people, the jubilant people, it's all there! Airports are one of my favorite places on the planet because they're full of emotion! So much joy in excited people leaving for a trip, happy family members receiving someone home, travelers grieving and on their was to funerals. Every emotion possible, you find it in the airport and I love it! It really stirs my soul to see people so alive.

I sometimes contemplate becoming a flight attendant when I eventually get fired or "let go"
Though, I'm not sure it's a great job for an INFP, I think I'd enjoy and I think I'd be good at it.

I like to watch the show and try to imagine how I'd react in people's situations of delayed flights, being denied admittance to the plane, losing a ticket or any of the thousand frustrating things.
I also like to try and imagine how I would handle the situations if I was customer service and being yelled and screamed and cussed at. What would I do? Could I still be gracious and loving?


oooh...gotta shower and go get hairs cut! TTFN!

Am I Insane? This might be proof!

Ok, tell me if you do this too or if I'm just a freak.

Sometimes when I've driving down a road or highway that I've driven down a thousand times, I pretend that I'm a visitor from somewhere else that is seeing all of this for the first time and trying to imaging what the lives of the people in this city might be like.
Make sense?

I guess because I've spend a lot of time on road trips and been to tons of foreign cities.
Each time I'm driving through an unfamiliar city (be it Albuquerque, El Paso, Phoenix, Garden Grove, Etc.) it all seems so beautiful and different and kinda...peaceful.
I always try to imagine what it would be like to live there, what it would feel like.
I imagine the different jobs and places to see.
I imagine what it would feel like if that were my grocery store (all grocery stores have a different feel) or what it would be like if that were my 7-11 that I always frequented.

And the city lights always captivate me.

I imagine how the sun would soak the city and reflect off the buildings and land. (That's vital!)
And even the most common places like Applebee's and Target and Blockbuster hold a romantic mystique.
I guess that's simply because it's an unfamiliar version of the familiar.

I wonder if you move to somewhere else if that feel ever wears off.
I lived in Chicago for 3 years. That magic never really wore off for me. It always seemed new and wonderous.

And that's ironic because I think the beauty of living in one place your whole life is that you know the place, the ins and out.
You know where you are. Not just in the city, but in the world.
You feel like you have a place you belong.
And every turn you make, every street you drive down brings back a flood of memories and feelings.
I love that! That's a very transcendent feeling. It's absolutely wonderful.

Yet, on the other hand, moving to live somewhere else, there's always that mystique and romance of new discoveries and seeing everything for the first time and not having that sense of belonging.

So yeah, sometimes, I pretend I'm a visitor to Dallas and what they would think and feel seeing it all for the first time and I wonder if they get that romantic feeling about Dallas that i get when i visit other places.

Or sometimes, when I'm driving down the highway at night, I'll pretend that I'm in California and everything is new to me, that the ocean is nearby, and new sights and experiences await around every corner. I'll give Dallas that cozy SoCal feel and let the joy of vacation sweep through me, if only for a moment.

Or sometimes I pretend I'm in a city in New Mexico and have just spent the whole day driving through the desert. And I think that's part of the mystique, if you've been driving all day, you know what land surrounds the city, it makes the city feel like a small dot on a map and not it's own unique place. It's just a more populated place in the middle of a desert or plain. Makes it all feel small. But if you live somewhere, it doesn't feel that way at all. It feels big.

Do other people do this? Probably not, huh? It'd be comforting if other people did!
It's probably just because I'm a dreamer. I think i just see the world differently.
And that's ok, because it washes everything in a mist of beauty.

....ooooor maybe I'm just a plain ole freak!

Who I Am Hates Who I Was

So I spent a majority of this afternoon reading through
entries on my old bliggity blog.
It shocked me.
I can't believe that was me.
I would so not be able to be friends with that person.
I'd have a very hard time loving that person.
But that was me.

It was startling to see how far I've come and how much I've changed.
It reminds me of a sermon from a few months ago,
the mantra still rings in my head--

Sanctification is a crawl.

It's a beautiful process how we grow daily and don't even realize until we stop and look back.
It's beautiful that we each have our own path the leads us to holiness.
Different circumstances, different experiences.
Our heart learn on different levels.
It takes some people longer.
Sometimes it takes pain. Sometimes it takes years of foolishly chasing after the wind.

My heart swells with joy at the knowledge that the Lord has me on my path.
Though it's a doggone wonky path, it's the path I had to take.
It's the path that leads Home.
And I take comfort in knowing that it all works for good.
Only a loving God could take all our failures and jerkiciousness and use it to grow something beautiful.
Kinda like manure, I guess.

Only a couple years ago,
apparently I was just a whiny, pompous, self-centered, emo, angry, needy kid who couldn't admit he was wrong.
maybe i still am those things.
but there's growth. massive growth.
It sucks that I had to be that person.
I can't believe Lauren read that crap every night and didn't kill herself.
It sucks that she had to see me be that person.
It sucks that anyone had know me then.
So self-consumed. So self-righteous.
I grieve for the damage I caused others.

I was so judgmental, yet condemned others for the same thing.
I was close minded and selfish.

Not to say I'm perfect now.
It's just to say that seeing God's work in my life is absolutely captivating.
It's beautiful.
He's beautiful.
I don't know how to adequately describe the joy it brings me to see that He has worked in my life. ME!
Maybe there are no words. Maybe that's why God made tears.
Maybe that's the only way to adequately express that overflow of joy.

The Land of the Free

I've been meaning to post this for the last 5 months or so. I think I've been putting it off because I know I even begin to adequately describe how much it speaks to my heart. This song has been pulverizing my heart for months....and I love that. It's convicting, but it's beautiful and joyous and full of hope. My hear swells when i listen to it. This is by Andrew Peterson, who, coincidentally, is the author of the prose in my previous post.

Little Alba, how’s the sun in south America?
Does it shine upon the faces of the poor?
Do they see in it the brilliance of the place that’s been prepared
and dwell upon the hope of what’s in store?
Or are they just like me, do they only see an opportunity to complain about the heat?

and little Alba, how’s the rain in South America?
Does it fall upon the roof tops of the sick?
Do they thank the lord for coming up with such a great idea
and dream about a place beyond all this?
Or are they just like us, do they gripe and fuss
about the rain and mud when they’ve had too much?

Cause I’m just a little jealous of the nothing that you have.
You’re unfettered by the wealth of the world that we pretend is going to last

Well I’m weary of the spoils of my ambition
and I’m shackled by the comfort of my couch.
I wish I had the courage to deny these of my self
and start to store my treasure in the clouds.
For this is not my home,
I do not belong where the antelope and the buffalo roam.

Cause I’m just a little jealous of the nothing that you have.
You’re unfettered by the wealth of
the world that we pretend that’s going to last.

They say God’s blessed us with plenty.
I say you’re blessed with poverty.
cause you never stop to wonder
whether earth is just a little better than the Land of the Free

So I hope you’re safe and dry in South America
cause I’m feeling pretty good in Tennessee.
May you never be so happy that you forget about your Home
your Home in the Land of the Free

Dang that thing gets me every time. It flips my world upside down. We think WE'RE the blessed ones because we have so much. but maybe the poor are the blessed ones because they only have Heaven to look forward to, and don't have their hands clenched so tightly around the things of Earth. And maybe the poor see blessings in things we take for granted, like the sun, the heat, the rain. and I'm definitely not someone who portrays the poor as superhero saints.

But the song re-focuses my eyes and makes me take stock of what I'm holding on to and how I see the world. It kicks me out of my own little world and again forces me to see this as a place where I'm just a vagabond. This isn't my Home and I have to stop living like it. I can't be content with pleasing myself and seeking comfort. I'm only here for a blink and I have got work to do while I'm here. I have to quit living like my life terminates on me. It's not about me. It never was. and i know that, but this song kicks my butt out of whatever self-centered world I'm living in. I lose sight of what true freedom is and I take it for granted. I'm not free because I live in America and can say whatever i want. THAT is not freedom. And I know I take true freedom for granted. I'm so content with this earthly freedom that I lose my focus from the true freedom we've been given.

I let the comfort of earth overwhelm my joy that can only be found in things eternal.

Sometimes I just need that reminder to not be so danged self-centered and human and get back to task. This life has nothing to do with me.

Maybe you never be so happy that you for get about your Home.....your home in the Land of the Free.